Restorative Rituals for
Meaningful Self Care
As I enter into my 41st year, I felt a sudden desire to return here to my blog and write. It has been awhile. I have shared poems and other words on social media, and a few here as well. But, it has been some time since I have sat down to reflect, write out a blog post, and share with all of you. As I pause now to write this, I don’t know exactly what I want to say. But, I simply trust in the feeling that led me here.
Turning 40 was a pivotal moment for me last year. I am not normally one to believe in “milestone” birthdays or anniversaries. And yet, something about turning 40 indeed felt different. I was aware, for the first time of stepping into the next decade of my life. I felt open to the lessons that the year would bring to me. And I felt eager to open up to all of life, to learn what I needed to learn, at this particular intersection.
I had some highlight moments for sure. Here are a few of them:
I recognize as I write these down, that there were so many other moments too. Moments of loss, of grief, of confusion, of anger, of letting go, of uncertainty. Moments of parenting and relationships and friendships that brought me to my knees. Moments of professional crises and questioning that held no clear answers. None of the moments, “good” or “bad,” were predictable, they simply arose. My greatest challenge was perhaps to see beyond the label, and to meet my experiences as they were, for what they were.
What did I feel? What was I meant to learn? How could I grow through all of it? Who did I need to hold close?
What I continue to know is this–that what remains fundamental to me, is my desire to stay connected. Connected to you, connected to me, connected to my greater purpose and meaning. Through it all, as one surface experience goes and another comes, that is the thread that holds steadfast. Such connection arises when we can know and speak our truth, ask the questions that whisper to us in the dark, and receive the energies present from within and without. Like anything else, discovering how we connect is a practice like any other.
No perfection. Just practice.
I don’t know what 41 will bring, but I didn’t know what 40 would bring either. I feel open for all of it, and grateful to still be here. That is not an opportunity that everyone has right now, and I feel profoundly aware of the privilege of having a voice, and the responsibility that comes with using it.
Thank you for being a part of my journey over this last year. I look forward to sharing the ride for as long as we are together.
For you whose light has been dimmed in an already dark world— For you whose voice has been muted in a loud screaming world— For you who feels lost in a world full of mirrors— Breathe. When every warm body is out of reach, you have the power to hold your own heart with a
Holding hands in the dark, the wash of moonlight spilling onto the sheets. A kiss on my cheek and a hug that lingers long enough to feel the solid warmth of skin and bone. The breath of a sunset sky, and the heat of thunder and lightning pouring cleansing waters from above. A singular burgundy
Reflections On Gratitude
With Thanksgiving around the corner, gratitude is in the air. Gratitude is of course a wonderful thing. It is one of those “life hacks” that reminds us how fortunate we are, and connects us more quickly to a sense of joy. And yet, to be honest, I struggle with gratitude sometimes. I have tried all