Where I Don’t Belong

MEDIA

Restorative Rituals for
Mental Health

Meaningful Self Care
for Moms

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In today’s installment of what’s beautiful,
I only first found what was broken,
until I caught a fleeting glimpse
of what laid beneath.

My son’s hair a rat’s nest,
but shining through were those
mischievous chocolate eyes.
My daughter sitting on the car seat,
a tired and irritable mess of
not wanting to go to camp, and
crumbs stuck to the back of ripped leggings
because she had saved her cookie
just for me.

Today’s hot yoga was a dusty mat
and a space heater in my office,
one down dog and child’s pose and savasana.
But I felt the ligaments between my toes
and heard myself exhale
for the first time in days.
I couldn’t seem to find the sacred
in this body that feels ten pounds too heavy
and a mind streaming with anxieties,
until a poem reached from those thoughts,
and asked me to play.

Yes, this heart aches to stay open
and yes,
there is a miracle
in every filling of the atria,
every systole that pumps life through me,
without my asking or trying
which is a blessing beyond comprehension.

I don’t think I will look for beauty anymore
in what is pristine or just so
because I can’t live there,
where I don’t belong.
Give me what is worn around the edges,
dirty, cracked, tired
so that I can discover gold,
and remember what is
true.

 

Mindful Mondays

  • 41

    As I enter into my 41st year, I felt a sudden desire to return here to my blog and write.  It has been awhile.  I have shared poems and other words on social media, and a few here as well.  But, it has been some time since I have sat down to reflect, write out

  • Hold On

    For you whose light has been dimmed in an already dark world— For you whose voice has been muted in a loud screaming world— For you who feels lost in a world full of mirrors— Breathe. When every warm body is out of reach, you have the power to hold your own heart with a

  • Waking Up

    Holding hands in the dark, the wash of moonlight spilling onto the sheets. A kiss on my cheek and a hug that lingers long enough to feel the solid warmth of skin and bone. The breath of a sunset sky, and the heat of thunder and lightning pouring cleansing waters from above. A singular burgundy